Q & A
Q1:
What is Assertive Communication? (The Common Definition of Assertiveness is Incorrect!) The common definition of assertiveness is often described as respecting yourself while respecting others, but this is incorrect. Why is the common definition of assertiveness wrong? The explanation is simple: if the other person considers your opinion rude, who can judge whether you were respectful? Assertiveness is not about respect; it's about being able to honestly express your thoughts, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
Q2:
BEMi Assertiveness Training vs. Standard Assertiveness Training Traditional assertiveness training focuses on mastering difficult one-on-one conversations. In contrast, BEMi Assertiveness Training emphasizes honing the skills to speak up within a group setting—an essential aspect often overlooked by standard training programs. BEMi doesn't fixate on assertive language; instead, it delves into the root causes of self-blocking and addresses the fears that hold people back from speaking up. While traditional training encourages memorizing assertive phrases, BEMi prioritizes improvisational communication, preparing participants for real-world scenarios where scripted responses may not be effective. Group discussions are unpredictable, requiring individuals to articulate their thoughts spontaneously. This is where true assertiveness shines. BEMi empowers participants to immediately recognize and express their reactions, enabling them to navigate group dynamics confidently. Through practice in handling unexpected situations, individuals develop the ability to voice their thoughts and questions with confidence, without hesitation or excessive preparation. With BEMi, there's no need to adhere strictly to assertive language, tone, or body language. Instead, by managing their emotional reactions, participants achieve natural communication, even in high-pressure situations.
Q3:
How Should Participants for the Program Be Selected? Developing assertiveness is primarily an emotional journey, so it is crucial that those who express interest and volunteer to participate are chosen. When participants are selected by management for improvement, they often resist change and can significantly disrupt the learning environment. Therefore, voluntary participation is essential to ensure genuine engagement and a conducive atmosphere for growth.
Q4:
How Long Does It Take to Develop Assertiveness? The time required to improve assertive behavior varies from person to person, largely depending on the intensity of their fear of speaking up. Some participants show improvement quickly, while others may see progress midway through or near the end of the program. Occasionally, some individuals may only realize their improvement several months after the program has concluded.
Q5:
What Results Can Be Expected? While assertiveness is inherently difficult to measure, managers and colleagues will likely notice improvements in the participant's behavior. Typically, there will be an increase in the number of opinions, questions, disagreements, and clarifications. You may also observe a rise in proactive and assertive actions. One reason passive individuals refrain from speaking up is their inability to hide strong emotions that surface when they talk. As a result, they feel it's safer to remain silent. The advantage of the BEMi method is that it helps individuals manage their negative emotions, enabling them to express their thoughts more freely.
Q6:
Is Assertiveness Training Only for Passive Individuals? A: It's a common misconception that only passive members need to participate in assertiveness training. In reality, even proactive members can contribute to the problem by becoming overly controlling or by helping passive members too much. The best results are achieved when both passive members and those who struggle to work effectively with them participate in the program together.
Q7:
Should Participants Be Mixed by Position and Role, or Kept Separate? A: Since a significant part of passive behavior stems from unrealistic fears related to positions and roles, it is generally best for members of various roles and positions to work together. In these sessions, the impact of status on willingness to speak becomes a key discussion point, benefiting all participants by fostering deeper and more open conversations.
Q8:
How Does BEMi Assertive Training Differ from Resilience Training? A: Resilience training focuses on enduring difficult situations and persevering despite setbacks. However, it risks misdirecting energy and failing to address underlying issues. Consider Japanese professionals struggling to speak up in English during global meetings. Some might attribute this to language barriers and focus solely on expanding their vocabulary. Yet, many face deeper issues rooted in fear—fear of being judged, disrupting the meeting atmosphere, or wasting time—which hold them back and hinder proactive growth. BEMi's assertive program delves deeply into individual barriers, fears, and recovery skills, empowering individuals to express themselves confidently. Participants develop skills to effectively navigate any challenging scenario, ensuring they can communicate assertively and overcome obstacles.
